We left before the dust had time to settle

Oooof. I am making lots of friends at union station: the ticket agent which had to accept my $4 ticket payment in change- and only $1.50 was in quarters, the police w their drug sniffing dogs... Most excellent! I've already been barked at by one dog and almost eaten by another. I don't think I'm alone, however, when I say I wanna play with them.
So far, this is shaping up to be an excellent day! And I have coffee breath, so I have that going for me. Bahahaha
Something else that I find most excellent is that I set the secondary language on my phone to German, so some times I send messages w random German words. Love it. Ok, I have to avoid a bible salesman now.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

BAHAHAHAH

This brings me infinite joy. I found this draft on my phone. I have Noooo idea what exactly I was so angry with, but I stand behind it!:

ok. i goes some beef to throw against the wall and some steam to let off because humans are stupid. like STUPID. i'm watching the national geographic channel and... i am disturbed. i'm about to beat a bitch. BEAT A BITCH UP IN HERE!

ooooo shiny new software!

so! yesterday, in my many hours of nothingness while i'm banished to this hospital bed, i downloaded the new lion os x software for franz (me computer). it's tots cra-cra! i'm not used it to it yet, but because the new software is called lion, and lions are my favorite animal, i therefore love it.

and my pain medication makes me feel like jelly.

something most excellent!

oh. mi. gaaw. richie farina, the sous chef at MOTO in chicago, tweeted me. it just made my night! like, literally, made my muthafuckin night.

awww yeah.
he and his fellow chef from moto, chris jones, made it onto top chef: texas, season 9. if you don't know moto, look it up. it is.. like... (as richie says) "our food blows minds!" being a scientist, who secretly uses vats of liquid nitrogen to make my own (sloppy) dippin' dots, my mind has already exploded and is now exploding again! i was heart broken when richie was voted off (gah!!!), but chris is still in the game and now he has ALL my votes. it made me sooo sad when richie started crying and said that he didn't represent moto, but he did! he did such wonderful things! he is top chef in my book -- and that is saying a lot. BOOM.
but now, chris jones, you go and you go far. win the competition and bring home the prestige to the chi-town! CHI-TOWN!
i made reservations at MOTO and their sister restaurant, iNG, to enjoy this wonder and triumph, known as molecular gastronomy. While iNG, Next, Alinea, and other similar restaurants are ALSO most excellent, MOTO is ranked in the top ten of the nation's high-tech (molecular gastronomy) restaurants. oooh, why can't it be december 17th nooooow? in the words of tina fey: i want to go to there (now)!

 

Zombie Apocalypse Contingency Plan

for all of you out there, who are woefully unprepared or don't understand the great threat of such an outcome, i feel sorry for you.
phillip and i will be putting together our contingency plan, starting on sunday. so far, we've decided one of the best places to go is alaska, but before our departure, we are going to new york to steal matthew gray gubler -- whether or not he has been bitten. if you are located along our travel route, and wish to be picked up, please let me know -- but whether or not we will take you in will have to be decided upon by phillip and me.

more information will be posted when it has been decided upon.

ISS should be renamed

does it bother anyone else that the ISS (key words: space station) is actually in low earth orbit? it should be called the low earth orbit station, or LEOS. damn skippy, mofos.
also!

wait,
i forgot.